Tuesday, August 21, 2018

10 Tips to Bear in Mind to Ensure Happiness

10 Tips to Bear in Mind to Ensure Happiness - Thanks to www.ba-bamail.com
 When seeking a happy life, psychological barriers, a negative mindset and a narrow mind are three factors that will stop us from doing so. To break this circle, many people read classical, science fiction and religious books. One such famous psychiatrist, Mikhail Efimovich Litvak, wrote a book where he describes the most common psychological barriers that prohibit us from living happy and healthy lives. So, what are you waiting for? Turn your life around by following this advice: 

1. Happiness is a side effect of a properly organized life
As psychiatrist Victor Frankl pointed out, happiness, joy, and success are side effects of a well-organized life. You need to do things that make you experience and reach these sensations and states. If your goal is to reach the 'side effect' you will never reach it since it isn't something that you just get and have to keep.  
2. When talking to a person, remember they also have a high opinion of themselves, just like you do
Never forget that someone with whom you are speaking is also a person that has their own views and their own reasons to have such views. Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about and for this reason, you should always respect other people. 
3. How can anyone help you if you are not doing anything yourself?
Words are impalpable. A person is defined by their actions and nobody will help you if you just keep walking around and telling other people that you are going to write a book. After all, how can anyone help you if you haven't even begun the process? When you finally decide to write a book and take a copy to an editor, you can always find people who are ready to help and support you. Your work is something real, not just words. 
4. Become successful, and all hard feelings will disappear
Most grudges develop because you feel unsatisfied with yourself. Sometimes, we hold a grudge against someone and we may think that the only person who can fix it is the one with whom we are upset. But this mechanism works differently. One of Mikhail Litvak's students had said: "My success outshined my grudges". This is absolutely true. Start doing what you love and become successful at it. This will enable you to surpass your grudges. 
5. Do you want to see your biggest enemy? Look in the mirror!
Most people fight other people's demons when in reality, they should be fighting their own. The only real enemy we face is us. You can't get out of this situation without breaking the barriers that don't let you grow and develop. We exist within very strict boundaries that society created with the education that we received as children. What this means is that we exist within very strict boundaries that society created with the education we received as children. These rules are often taken for granted. However, all of modern psychology is looking for a way to fight them. Sometimes, people get psychotic trying to fight them. But most of the time, we don't even notice that we are fighting. Until finally, we are ready to meet ourselves face-to-face - this will be the last enemy we would ever encounter. 
6. Look for the right path instead of the straight path. The right path may not always be straight
Consider this example: You are on the 30th floor and you need to go down. The fastest way to do so is to go through the window. But this is probably the moment where your journey ends and the wiser choice would be to look for an elevator, or at the least, the stairs, even if the building is dark and is hard to find anything inside. A person who chooses the straight way instead of the right one looks a lot like a fly who is trying to get through the window even though it's faster to get through the open door nearby. 
7. When a person doesn’t have a goal, they don’t see anything. A goal sharpens the vision.
Have you ever realized that when you need to buy something, for example, something for your grandmother's garden, you start noticing it absolutely everywhere? Even when you no longer need it, you come to realize that you are still looking for it. The same goes for your goals. Your attention is limited and you can only notice the things you need. A goal is similar to setting the focus on a camera: if you set it wrong, you won't see what you really need. 
8. If you want to prove something to someone, it means that you live for that person.
If happiness is what you are seeking, stop trying to prove that you are right. Think about the essence of any proof: it is an attempt to change someone's opinion about something. But why would you do that? It turns out that their opinion is much more important than yours when you put in the effort to change it. When you live your life for yourself, there is no point in trying to prove anything to anyone. 
9. The ability to love and accept loneliness is a sign of an emotionally mature person. We do the best things when we are alone.
People who hate themselves can't stand being alone. They will try to join a group of people thinking that it will make them feel better. A person who is mentally mature uses the alone time for self-development and to collect information to share with other people later. One of the most important factors of any communication is not only taking but giving something that might be interesting to other people. 
10. Happiness is when what you WANT, CAN, and MUST do is the same thing.

Most people are torn in two directions: must, but don't want to; want, but can't and so on. But the only thing that a person truly needs to focus on is to develop themselves. Anything else is extra. The things you want to do should be regulated by the things that you must do, such as self-development. What you can do is a force that moves the entire system. Litvak suggests making a list of things based on the aforementioned directions in order to sort your goals and values properly.

Saturday, July 28, 2018

TEN pieces of pieces of Advice from a Supreme Court Judge.

TEN pieces of pieces of ADVICE from a Supreme Court JUDGE who handled Family Dispute Courts:
Published on April 24, 2018, on Linked.in

1. Don't encourage your son and his wife to stay under the same roof with you. Best to suggest them to move out, even to the extent of renting a house. It's their problem to find a separate home.
More the distance between you and your children's families, the better is the relationship with your in-laws.
2. Treat your son's wife as his wife, not as your own daughter, maybe just treat her as a friend. Your son would always be your Junior but, if you think that his wife is of the same rank and if you ever scolded her, she would remember it for life. In real life, only her own mother and not u will be viewed as a person qualified to scold or correct her.
3. Whatever habits or characters your son's wife has is not your problem at all, it is your son's problem. It isn't your problem as he is an adult already.
4. Even when living together, make each other's businesses clear, don't do their laundry, don't cook for them and don't babysit their children. Unless, of course, there is a special request by your son's wife and you feel that you're capable and don't expect anything in return. Most importantly, you shouldn't worry about your son's family problems. Let them settle themselves.

5. Pretend to be blind and deaf when your son and his wife are quarrelling. It's normal that the young couple does not like their parents to be involved in the dispute between husband and wife.
6. Your grandchildren totally belong to your son and his wife. However they want to raise their children, it is up to them. The credit or blame would be on them.

7. Your son's wife need not necessarily respect and serve you. It is the son's duty. You should have taught your son to be a better person so that you and your son's wife relationship could be better.
8. Do more planning for your own retirement, don't rely on your children to take care of your retirement. You had already walked through most of your journey in life, there are still a lot of new things to learn throughout the journey.

9. It is your own interest that you enjoy your retirement years. Better if you could utilise & enjoy everything that you had saved before you die. Don't let your wealth become worthless to you.

10. Grandchildren don't belong to your family, they're their parents' precious gift.

Karan Pal Singh

Monday, April 16, 2018

If I Had My Life to Live Over... ( If I can relive my life)

Erma Bombeck was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life from the mid-1960s until the late 1990s 

This was written after she found out she was dying of cancer.

"I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day. 
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.” There would have been more “I love you’s.” More “I’m sorry’s.”

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute…look at it and really see it .. live it .and never give it back.Stop sweating the small stuff. Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
Let’s think about what we've been blessed with. And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally.
I hope you all have a blessed day..."

Friday, September 11, 2015


I t may be a treasure which you suspect is lying under ground. It may be any other objects which you want to locate underground.

Materials required:
 Two lengths of copper wire 1/6 " (4.2 mm)thick and measuring 34" long.

Procedure : Bend the wires at the last 6" to at right angles form an L.The Ls serve as handles.The long arms serve as pointers.

Hold the 2 handle rods  rods lightly, one in each hand in front of you..They should be 12'' apart parallel to each other and parallel to the ground.The grip should be held loosely in a vertical position.

Now commence walking over the ground concentrating on the object of search.
If it is a water pipe you are seeking to find, then when you approach or cross the buried pipe, the divining rods will tremble and swivel inwards and cross over each other at the precise spot.

However if your blood group is Rh negative, the rods swivel outwards opposite to each other instead of crossing in ward.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Oil less garlic pickles

Garlic pickles:
Ingredients : 
1 Garlic 200g
2. Tamarind the size of a small lime 2 cm dia.
3 Dry chilles (long type) 12 to 15
4 Mustard  2 ½   tsp
5. Fenugreek  ¾  tsp
6  . Turmeric powder less than ½ tsp
7. Hing powder about 4 pinches.
 8 Salt – about 1 tsp (scoopfull) Actual quantity will be subject to taste.
(one or two green chillies cut in to small pieces is optional)
Method .
Garlic to be split in to individual pearls poured in to the kadai (வாணலி) with boiling water enough to immerse all the pearls fully and let it boil for not more than a minute and then allowed to cool. After that the it can be peeled and kept .
The tamarind ball is to be dissolved a cup of water and filtered through fingers to remove shells and un-dissolved particles and kept ready
The chillies, 2 tsp of mustard (1/2 tsp for seasoning) and fenugreek are to be dry roasted (without oil) –each of them separately -in a very low flame. After the roasted materials are cooled they can be ground together in a mixie.
Now put the kadai on stove without oil and pour the ½ tsp and then light the burner.  (very low flame ) . The moment it starts crackling pour  a little water to avoid the mustard becoming burnt.
Then add the garlic pearls  , add the turmeric powder and  mix it thoroughly.Soon after pour the powder from the mixie and turn it well . Add the tamarind extract and slowly raise the flame. If water is too less to cook ,the tamarind add enough water just to ensure smooth cooking. When the raw smell/taste of tamarind disappears add a portion of the salt ( the rest can be added based tasting later). Now you can taste the gravy and decide if more of chillies or salt is to be added and add accordingly. Dry chillie powder can be added if anyone wants it more hot.
Over heating is to be avoided.  The hing can be added just before stopping the fire and mix it well. The contents are to be cooled and transferred to clean vessel after preheating it both outside and inside to sterilize it. The spoon put in is also to be preheated on naked flame to sterilize it.

Similarly we can make pickles from tomatoes. Tomatoes  are to be cut in to very small pieces and added to kadai after mustard has crackled. No blanching.

Goose berry,  is to be washed and cut to small pieces and seeds removed, No blanching. Instead of tamarind extract lime juice (about 2 tsp can be added at the end before adding hing.

If you choose to add the green chilles it can be added at the beginning along with tomatoes or goose berries.
The combination of chilli,mustard fenugreek powder can be used to prepare vegetable curry as well relacing the usual sambar podi.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


Dear all I wish to share with you the views of an American blogger Bob
Lonsberry  regarding hard work and the evils of food stamps, welfare measures etc given to the US people which make them more and more dependent on the State with no productivity for the State and no improvement in their own lives. Let us view this  in the Indian context and see how we spoil the psyche of the BPL ( Below Poverty Line) families with our free rations and free utility articles . These aids given, more with the vote catching in mind , than helping the poor makes them to choose an easy way of life and avoid doing serious work . It is detrimental to the country and also the people themselves in the long run.

Written May 15, 2012
Gujarat is a state in the west of India, home to the Gujarati people, some 60 million of them, who speak their own language and have their own history.
Mahatma Gandhi was born there. And so was the guy who runs the motel in your town. Odds are, at any rate.

In the United States, some 40 percent of all the hotels and motels are owned by Indians – almost all of them from Gujarat. Among American economy motels, specifically, more than half the owners are Gujarati.

There is something called the Asian-American Hotel Owners Association. It is a powerful professional group with more than 10,000 members. Some 90 percent of those members have the same last name – Patel – a name dominant in Gujarat.

Which raises the question: How did the Indians, particularly from one relatively small region of India, come to dominate the American lodging industry?
The answer, in short: Hard work.

About 30 years ago, Gujarati began immigrating to the United States.
They typically brought with them the clothes on their back and an ancestral work ethic.

They also carried the desire to be the boss, to be business owners, not to be another man’s employee. Like generations of previous immigrants, they carried an American dream of their own creation and distinctive bent.

Coincidentally, about 30 years ago, there was a downturn in the
American motel industry. Low-end motels were hard work and offered a limited return, and owners were eager to get out of them.

A handful of Gujarati stumbled across this opportunity. The motels could be had for almost nothing up front, and they came with housing for the immigrant family. And that immigrant family provided a roundthe-clock workforce. It was incredibly hard and endless work, but the efforts of the immigrants were up to the task, and these first few families found first a living, and then success.

And they told their friends.

And they expanded, by buying more motels, and by moving up the economic ladder to larger and nicer motels and hotels.

Back home, as others sought to emigrate to the United States, word of success in the lodging industry spread, and newcomers replicated that success, finding for themselves motel opportunities.

Interestingly, these people came with almost no money. And they came with no background whatsoever in the lodging or hospitality industries. All they brought was a willingness to embrace any opportunity and to work hard to make it a success.  
And they have done that.

In something between 20 and 30 years, Indians – who are about 1 percent of the American population – have come to dominate this industry. They have built solid lives for themselves and their employees, and their children have gone on to be educated and move into the professions.

It is a stunning success story.
It is a reminder of the potential prosperity of immigrants who go to work instead of to the welfare office.

It is proof of the continued vigor and opportunity of the American economy and the free-enterprise system.

It is the American way proven again by newcomers’ hands.
But it is more than that.

It is also something of an indictment of native-born Americans who have lingered in poverty and government dependence.

Part of the horrific welfare plague is the curse of idleness it imposes on recipients. The slavery of dependence takes initiative from people, and strips them of the instinct of self-reliance. They become good at nothing, and particularly good at doing nothing.

And with the cloak of entitlement drawn over their eyes, they fail to see liberating opportunity, they become unwilling to do the backbreaking work necessary to lift themselves out of their circumstances.

When the first few dozen essentially penniless Gujarati discovered the opportunity of the then-dying motel business, there were tens of millions of native-born Americans, food stamps in hand, who were blind to the opportunity around them. While the newly arrived Indians worked day and night, the entitled Americans kept drawing a check, and now that the Gujarati children are successful business people and college graduates, the dependent Americans wallow in the mire of another generation of welfare shame.

The moral of this story?

Good for them, and shame on us.

It doesn’t matter where you’re from, it matters how you live. You get out of life in proportion to what you put in.

These Indians have been better Americans that some of us who were born here. They have lived closer to our traditional values, and their choices have been truer to our heritage.

Sadly, some of us will resent them. Instead of emulating them.

We will curse them for their success, rather than do what is necessary to find success ourselves.

It is not foreign invasion which threatens America, it is internal decay. Few things foster that internal decay more than entitlement and government dependence.

And we will either realize that, and do something about it, or we will perish.

 For original article visit

Monday, April 30, 2012

Simple and effective home remedies

Here   are   some   doctor-approved home remedies that cure back pain, headaches, insomnia, and much more, Home remedies are a staple of natural medicine. They are cheap and fast, often work just as well as a drugstore fix, and may be as near as your spice cabinet, refrigerator, or laundry room.

Sore throat
Mix together a clove bud, which is anti­septic and fights infection, with 1/4 teaspoon powdered ginger (or 1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger) and 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon — the latter two because of their anti-inflammato­ry properties. Infuse the tea in 2 cups boiling water, and for every cup, stir in 1 teaspoons soothing and sweet raw honey. Sip throughout the day until your throat settles down.

Douse it with a cup of antioxidant-packed green tea. which will naturally exfoliate dry flakes without dehydrating skin. Steep two bags of green tea in 1 cup hot water for 20 minutes to overnight. Once it has cooled, massage the strong tea into your scalp.

Treat them with tea tree oil and witch hazel, both of which have antiseptic and anti-inflammatory properties. As soon as you feel a pimple forming, dot either tonic on the area twice a day for 2 or 3 days. Never use rubbing alcohol because that only dries out and irritates skin without having any effect on the bacteria that cause acne.

Take a lukewarm bath with 1 cup added ground oatmeal (grind it with a mortar and pestle; instant oatmeal works fine), 1 cup whole milk, 2 tablespoons honey, and 2 ta­blespoons aloe vera gel. Oatmeal is anti-in­flammatory, honey is antiseptic, milk's proteins and fats soothe skin, and aloe numbs pain. Afterward, moisturise with a cream containing hydrating shea butter and aloe.

Drink a cup of chamomile tea. The herb has an antispasmodic effect that stops con­tractions in the lower intestine.

Sip one cup hot water steeped with 1 tea­spoon caraway seeds, which stifle the en­zymatic action that causes gas.

Clean the area. Then cut a piece of duct tape to a size slightly bigger than the wait. Apply the duct tape to the site and rub into place. Every three days, remove the tape and file down dead skin with a pumice stone or nail file. Repeat until the wart disappears. Chemicals in the tape suffocate and kill the wart.

These are the natural fixes experts trust. Follow label directions and use them to :


1 ) Ginseng
 (Chinese herb with palmately compound leaves and small greenish flowers and forked aromatic roots believed to have medicinal powers)

All varieties of ginseng stimulate the re­lease of an adrenal hormone called ACTH, which increases alertness and physical per­formance. Look for products that contain 4 -5 per cent ginsenosides, the root's active ingredient. Caveat: Do not use ginseng if you're taking antibiotics or the blood thinner warfarin.

2) Guarana

The seeds of guarana, a Brazilian shrub , boost memory, mood, and alertness. Caveat: Be­cause guarana contains caffeine, do not use if you have high blood pressure or a heart condition.

BEAT PAIN AND   inflammation         

Omega-3 Fatty Acids   
Found in fish oils and   flaxseed, omega-3s effectively tamp down inflam
mation and pain. Caveat:       Because   omega-3s  thin        the biood, do not use if  
you are already taking a daily dose of aspirin or warfarin. Capsaicin compound found in  hot peppers . Capsaicin soothes sore muscles by
first  stimulating, and then decreasing pain signals.

1.Psyllium Husks (Plantain of Mediterranean regions whose seeds swell and become gelatinous when moist and are used as a mild laxative - fleawort, Spanish psyllium, Plantago psyllium)
Taken with at least 8 ounces of water or juice as a fibre powder, psyllium aids in the absorption of food and prevents constipation by absorbing liquid in the intestines, making a softer stool that's easier to pass. Caveat: Use as part of a daily wellness regimen; do not use if you have stomach pain, nausea, or vomiting.

The active ingredients in ginger root can calm queasiness and relieve indigestion and excessive gas.

A Swedish study found that employees given "healthy" bacteria supplements every day missed less work because of illness than those given none.
Andrographis (Kirayat in Hindi , Nilavembu, Sirunangai, Siriyanangai in Tamil)

Our natural-health advisor, James Duke, vouches for this Asian plant's ability to pre­vent colds or curtail their symptoms.
New York Times News Service

Courtesy : The Hindu