10 Tips to Bear in Mind to Ensure Happiness - Thanks to www.ba-bamail.com
When seeking a
happy life, psychological barriers, a negative mindset and a narrow mind are
three factors that will stop us from doing so. To break this circle, many
people read classical, science fiction and religious books. One such famous
psychiatrist, Mikhail Efimovich Litvak, wrote a book where he describes the
most common psychological barriers that prohibit us from living happy and
healthy lives. So, what are you waiting for? Turn your life around by following
this advice:
1. Happiness is a side
effect of a properly organized life
As psychiatrist Victor
Frankl pointed out, happiness, joy, and success are side effects of a
well-organized life. You need to do things that make you experience and reach
these sensations and states. If your goal is to reach the 'side effect' you
will never reach it since it isn't something that you just get and have to
keep.
2. When talking to a
person, remember they also have a high opinion of themselves, just like you do
Never forget that
someone with whom you are speaking is also a person that has their own views
and their own reasons to have such views. Every person you meet is fighting a
battle you know nothing about and for this reason, you should always respect
other people.
3. How can anyone help
you if you are not doing anything yourself?
Words are impalpable.
A person is defined by their actions and nobody will help you if you just keep
walking around and telling other people that you are going to write a book.
After all, how can anyone help you if you haven't even begun the process? When
you finally decide to write a book and take a copy to an editor, you can always
find people who are ready to help and support you. Your work is something real,
not just words.
4. Become successful,
and all hard feelings will disappear
Most grudges develop
because you feel unsatisfied with yourself. Sometimes, we hold a grudge against
someone and we may think that the only person who can fix it is the one with
whom we are upset. But this mechanism works differently. One of Mikhail
Litvak's students had said: "My success outshined my grudges". This
is absolutely true. Start doing what you love and become successful at it. This
will enable you to surpass your grudges.
5. Do you want to see
your biggest enemy? Look in the mirror!
Most people fight
other people's demons when in reality, they should be fighting their own. The
only real enemy we face is us. You can't get out of this situation without
breaking the barriers that don't let you grow and develop. We exist within very
strict boundaries that society created with the education that we received as
children. What this means is that we exist within very strict boundaries that
society created with the education we received as children. These rules are
often taken for granted. However, all of modern psychology is looking for a way
to fight them. Sometimes, people get psychotic trying to fight them. But most
of the time, we don't even notice that we are fighting. Until finally, we are
ready to meet ourselves face-to-face - this will be the last enemy we would
ever encounter.
6. Look for the right
path instead of the straight path. The right path may not always be straight
Consider this example:
You are on the 30th floor and you need to go down. The fastest way to do so is
to go through the window. But this is probably the moment where your journey
ends and the wiser choice would be to look for an elevator, or at the least, the
stairs, even if the building is dark and is hard to find anything inside. A
person who chooses the straight way instead of the right one looks a lot like a
fly who is trying to get through the window even though it's faster to get
through the open door nearby.
7. When a person
doesn’t have a goal, they don’t see anything. A goal sharpens the vision.
Have you ever realized
that when you need to buy something, for example, something for your
grandmother's garden, you start noticing it absolutely everywhere? Even when
you no longer need it, you come to realize that you are still looking for it.
The same goes for your goals. Your attention is limited and you can only notice
the things you need. A goal is similar to setting the focus on a camera: if you
set it wrong, you won't see what you really need.
8. If you want to
prove something to someone, it means that you live for that person.
If happiness is what
you are seeking, stop trying to prove that you are right. Think about the
essence of any proof: it is an attempt to change someone's opinion about
something. But why would you do that? It turns out that their opinion is much
more important than yours when you put in the effort to change it. When you
live your life for yourself, there is no point in trying to prove anything to
anyone.
9. The ability to love
and accept loneliness is a sign of an emotionally mature person. We do the best
things when we are alone.
People who hate
themselves can't stand being alone. They will try to join a group of people
thinking that it will make them feel better. A person who is mentally mature
uses the alone time for self-development and to collect information to share
with other people later. One of the most important factors of any communication
is not only taking but giving something that might be interesting to other
people.
10. Happiness is when
what you WANT, CAN, and MUST do is the same thing.
Most people are torn
in two directions: must, but don't want to; want, but can't and so on. But the
only thing that a person truly needs to focus on is to develop themselves.
Anything else is extra. The things you want to do should be regulated by the
things that you must do, such as self-development. What you can do is a force
that moves the entire system. Litvak suggests making a list of things based on
the aforementioned directions in order to sort your goals and values properly.
